Experimental Veganism - Accidental Laxative

While I'm not a vegan, I play one on TV.  Well I don't, but Brandon Routh (or Christopher Reeves version 2.0) does.

I mean, I've learned two things about veganism from Scott Pilgrim: 1) being vegan just makes you better than most people (e.g. one of my "ginja ninja" climbing buddies, with amazing climbing skills and wicked upper body) and 2) being vegan gives you psychic powers.

Figure 1. "Being vegan just makes you better than most people."
- Envy/Natalie Adams, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
The subject above demonstrates the psychic powers of veganism,
when following the Vegany Code. 

WARNING: The fibrous power of vegetables and fruits should not be underestimated, and under no circumstances should one try the following, unless they're already on the toilet.

Figure 2. Yeah. That's right.
It's my name.
On my cup.
With dolphins. 

Experimental Avocado Banana Smoothie
Servings: 4
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Blend Time: 20 seconds

Background Information: 
I love bananas. And I love avocados. I eat them straight up.  So obviously, they must be combined into a superfruit!

Materials and Method: 
1 whole banana
1 whole avocado
almond milk (I used vanilla flavoured - next time, unsweetened)
1 magic bullet

Combine banana and avocado in magic bullet, cover with almond milk. Blend.  Add more almond milk to adjust for texture.

Results:
Maybe I shouldn't have had two of the four servings to myself.

(see Figure 2.) The texture was the equivalent of drinking heavy cream. And the gastrointestinal result was similar (to me, since I'm lactarded). The sweetness was completely dependent on the ripeness of the banana and the sweetening of the almond milk.  It wasn't very sweet at all, but I think I would use UNSWEETENED almond milk next time. It feels like the sugar excarbated the following effect of: being so excited I couldn't decide whether to blog this, or to go straight to the washroom.  

Conclusion: 

Veganism is often touted as difficult to follow as normal recipes that use dairy (milk/butter) and eggs are hard to imitate (i.e. baked goods).  This composition of avocado and banana simulates the exact texture of heavy cream, with little added flavour.  But how does baking affect the texture and composition of the resulting baked good? Further research (into vegan recipes) will solve this, and future studies will attempt to repeat the creation of the best vegan chocolate cake I have ever had, a light and moist cake that was served by Fresh in Toronto, with the creamiest icing (2006).  Avocado is suspected to be the base ingredient for the fat composition in said cake.